Conspiracy Theory Generator

Birds are government drones that sit on statues to recharge wirelessly. 5G isn't internet, it's the control signal for the pigeon flock. Why do you think you never see baby pigeons?

It's not a "mystery." Washing machines are not cleaning devices; they are matter transporters. The "lost socks" are small-scale abduction tests by an alien species. They're perfecting the technology before they start taking people. Your dryer is the return portal, but the calibration is... off.

You think a cat purrs because it's happy? Naive. The purr is a low-frequency data transfer. When your cat 'sleeps' on you, it's downloading your bio-data. The 'secret meetings' they have at 3 AM? They're uploading their findings to the Feline Central Command. We are just pets to them.